why i keep writing in a time of AI

it’s a fascinating time for music. and for musicians. this morning i was listening to an AI-generated song while surfing the internet and, tbh, it sounded really good. if i hadn’t known it was created solely by AI, i’m not sure i would have noticed. i don’t know if that says more about the quality of AI or about most music nowadays. and honestly, i don’t really care.

but it did make me question why i want to not only make music, but release it, share it, and try to make a living from it. in the end, it’s connection, i guess. not being alone. sharing your story, and hearing back from people all around the world who connect with it. who see parts of themselves in it, or part of their own story.

for me, that’s reason enough. so i’ll keep writing, performing, and recording. some songs will get a response, some won’t. and that’s okay. i just feel truly blessed to have the opportunity not only to create but to share it and to hear back from you. so if there’s something you’d like to tell me, ask, or whatever it is, write me a message (michael@michael-benjamin-music.com).

in the meantime, i’ll be creating music i love and publishing it for others to make their own, too.

decisions, direction and overthinking

this year i created more music than ever before. more songs. more sounds. more ideas. more versions of myself. i let loose.

but to be honest, it the freedom without any direction felt a bit like drowning. limitations, strangely, always gave me clarity.

the world is still beautiful was recorded live in 3 days. no click track. just me performing with an acoustic guitar and vocals. i recorded 17 and released 12 out of them. the limitation was, record it live. in a room. with a great engineer (yannick sandhofer - who also mixed the record).

but this time i felt i wanted to explore sounds, ideas and new directions. ‘cause i was bored with the way i was creating.

now i’m left with many ideas but no clear direction.

so as i’m writing this i’m wrestling with the idea of just let it go. let it happen. or create a frame of limitations and do it again.

in the end, as are so many things in life, it’s just a decision. there’s no right or wrong. just make the damn decision. and even writing this post is me procrastinating this decision.

the songs are here. and soon enough it will be clear how i’ll present them to the world. to you.

maybe. maybe not.

self-talk is a strange thing for me. it always has been. i do think a lot. some may say too much. i always loved observing. which also made me stay on the outside of things a lot. and overthink a lot. pretty sure a lot of you feel this way at times.

making music has been a way in for me. writing helped me put things into the world. not leave them in my head. but after years of doing this, i came to a point where i struggled. struggled because i got caught up in trying to control the outcome. trying to control where i was heading.

i’ve been dedicated to music for most of my life. i started playing bars and clubs at a young age to make some money so i wouldn’t have to go down the “proper career” path. sometimes it worked. sometimes i had to get work on the side (and i’ve done plenty of side jobs).

it’s all i ever wanted to do. what i feel i’m here for. but i did get caught up in “business meetings”, people trying to help me, with good intentions, trying to guide me. to a point where i lost vision and perspective.

the music business is a funny place. everyone seems to always know exactly what you have to do. but almost everyone also fails to reach the goals they wanted to reach. fame, success, a loyal audience, whatever it is.

and to be honest, it happened to me too.

i got caught up in trying to define myself. trying to play the game in a way that gave me the best chance to win.

but it came at a cost. i somehow forgot why i’m doing it. and what i like about it.

and i don’t have any answers right now, other than that i’m here, trying to create something that’s meaningful to me. which means being really honest with myself, which is harder than i thought.

‘cause i don’t know what i like. not at the moment.

but i will keep digging. keep searching. and i know that if i keep doing the work, keep showing up, it will appear. probably out of nowhere. or at least i hope so.

in the meantime, i’m beyond grateful to all of you. for reading this. messaging me. listening to my music. and making it part of your life.

update on my album

I finished recording my upcoming album last week.

I don’t think I’ve ever worked this hard on my music before. And it wasn’t about getting things right or perfect. it was about creating something I enjoy. Something I want to play live. Something that moved me in the process of making it. Something I’m proud of.

I wrote a lot of songs for it. Probably around 40–50. Choosing the final ones was the hardest part. Especially the letting go.

So many of these songs resonated with me. They were part of my journey over the last few months. They helped me heal. They helped me see things differently.

But I knew I wanted to make a short album — just a few songs. A small selection that felt right. true, honest but also fun.

The real work wasn’t writing or recording. It was being honest with myself. Trusting my gut. Doing what I actually want to do. just me and some songs.

So now I’m a bit tired. Also really excited to share this work with you soon. And honestly a little frightened.

But that’s how it is, I guess.

self reflections at 4 am

it’s one of those nights.

i slept for 2 or 3 hours, and now i’m wide awake.

a mind full of songs, and a quiet love for sitting down to create something.

it’s funny how i can hardly keep up any routine.

i’ve always liked working, then sleeping.

then working again. then sleeping again.

sometimes going days losing any sense of time, never sleeping more than 2,3 hours at a time while still sleeping a lot.

i was never someone who wakes up at the same time every day.

who has a morning routine.

who can sit down and work til the clock runs out, and then go live my lives.

i can’t do it like that.

the closest i ever came to a routine

was coffee and a cigarette in the morning,

listening to the music i made the night before.

but i’ve come to accept it.

maybe it’ll change.

who knows.

it doesn’t matter.

for now, it’s another 4 a.m. session.

another mid-day nap.

another movie at sunrise.

as long as the songs come, i don’t mind.

as long as, by the end of the day, i feel like i was present,

i don’t mind.