and it never turns out quite the way…

This week, I’ve spent nearly all my time in the studio. Barely seeing anyone. Working (or more like playing) for a few hours, sleeping a bit, then diving right back into the music.

They say the muse shows up at random times but you have to be there, ready.

And I was.

And she showed up.

I’m not a religious or very spiritual person, but there’s something about writing music that feels spiritual. You never really know where it’s going to take you. You just let the current pull you, and this week, I let it take me.

These songs are starting to come together. I had a clear vision for the album, the arc, the story, the path I wanted to walk. And it’s funny how the vision is revealing itself… just in a completely different way than I imagined.

All I know is that I’m having fun bleeding on these pages.

And for the first time in a while, I’m really excited about it.

freedom, or the lack of it

Nothing is ever fully free.

And that’s probably for the best.

Love is the clearest example.

You can’t truly love and be fully free at the same time.

I’ve stopped aiming for freedom.

I don’t chase it anymore.

For me, it’s all about not being a slave —

a slave to someone else’s emotions,

their business, ideas, or concept of life.

This has become the key for me:

a life in peace and simplicity.

the in between

Familiar streets. Same old patterns.

I’ve walked them hundreds of times

sometimes sober,

sometimes drunk,

always searching for something more.

I’ve lived in all kinds of places before.

They’re all different, of course,

different rhythms, different skies,

and different versions of me.

Each one carries a spirit.

An energy you can feel as soon as you arrive.

And still, none ever truly felt like home.

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of who I was in these streets:

Late nights walking home from nowhere,

Chasing highs, chasing quiet.

And sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d stayed.

Maybe it’s not about fitting in.

Maybe it’s about finding the places

where you can disappear and still feel seen.

everything is still the same

This is me taking a break from creating and recording my album.

I’ve written a lot of songs. Chose only a few. The ones that still resonate with me.

And it’s interesting — seeing what stays and what goes.

Like in life.

Some things never change.

Then again, some things come and go.

Some leave a mark.

Some don’t.

And looking back, a lot of it just feels random.

Anyway.

I started recording (again) yesterday.

This is my third attempt to record these songs.

I already made two versions of the album.

But I had to be honest with myself — I didn’t really like them.

Didn’t want to listen back.

And in the end, the only compass I’ve got is my own taste.

So… off to a new start.

Even though, somehow, everything still feels the same.

welcome to the paraphrase

I never thought I’d write a blog.

What for? You know?

But lately I’ve been looking for ways to express myself — outside of songs, outside of the noise.

People keep telling me I should “up my social media game.” Post more. Be more active. Create more.

The problem is… you can only really create things you’d actually want to consume.

But I do like writing. Even if my thoughts are random af, and I rarely finish a sentence.

Still. Whatever. This is my space. My world. And first time I’m letting people in.

So if you’re here — welcome.

Feel free to follow along. Read. Ignore. Wander.

Usually it’ll be just ideas, reflections, half-formed thoughts. A little window into my world.